OCTOBER SURPRISE: BIN LADEN?

I've been saying it privately for years. Now I'll say it in public:

I predict Osama bin Ladin will be captured before the November election.

Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if we already had him in custody somewhere, sitting around eating bon-bons, waiting to be trotted into the studio to make another phony recording every time that lying, murdering traitor in the White House needs a distracting headline.

And when it looks like Senator Obama is about to leave Senator McCain in the dust, still trying to win the war in Vietnam, they will trot him out again -- dust-caked and in chains -- and declare victory in the War on Terra.

Maybe they'll even "find" him in Iraq.

Call me a conspiracy theorist. My friends do. But remember where you heard it first. Because you will definitely hear it again. Of that I have no doubt.