Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Today I'm going over to Hillary HQ to make some calls into Ohio and Texas. The more I think about drinking the Kool-Aide and going for that Fabulous Obama Feeling, the more my heart tells me to stick with Hillary. Her Saturday Night Live appearance clinched it. One, Tina Fey is one of my super heroes. A FUNNY WOMAN. My whole life, funny women have been my salvation. All my best friends are funny as hell. I LOVE FUNNY WOMEN. And what a revelation. Hillary Clinton is a funny woman! She GETS funny women. She's not afraid to laugh at herself.

Set aside for a minute the fact that she's a super-wonk, with a preternatural grasp of policy details. She also has a sweet sense of humor. Not only would I feel more than secure with her at the helm, I would feel happy. How silly of me to want that. But I do. With all my heart. So today I'm setting aside a mountain of deadlines and heading over the bridge to Virginia. Why stop believing in miracles now? It's gone way beyond politics. At this point the feeling I have in my heart for Hillary Rodham Clinton is love, pure and simple. I love her and I want her to be MY President.

But before I post this little love letter I want to tell you one more reason I support her. It's because of the people who hate her. My father was a spy. When he died, most of his friends were retired CIA agents. Crusty old coots, with a world of hate in their hearts. After my dad died, I went to McDonald's in McLean, Virginia, where a gaggle of old spooks go every morning for breakfast. I asked to join them for a goodbye breakfast, knowing I'd never have a reason to see them again. There was no love lost among us, although I had a modicum of respect for them as my father's colleagues.

As I left the table to go get my breakfast I heard one of them say behind my back, I wonder if SHE inhales. I went back with my food and listened to them grouse about "Billary." They hated her guts. They hated her because she was a feminist. They hated her most of all because she included her maiden name in her married name. The "Rodham" part made them absolutely livid. They hated Bill because of Hillary. They hated him because she was a feminist. I was dumstruck by the visceral quality of their hatred. It had no basis in anything but mysogeny. It was clear to me how much these cold war relics hated women and I secretly reveled in the fact that I would have the last revenge: I would outlive the bastards.

I said my farewells as I stood up to go. Just before I turned to leave I said to them, "Oh, and don't forget to inhale. Or you'll DIE."

I left there a confirmed supporter of Hillary Clinton. I love her for the way she makes me feel and I love her even more for the way she makes a bunch of mysogynistic old sons of bitches feel.

More power to Hillary RODHAM Clinton.

And my deepest thanks to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and the rest of the good people at SNL for waking up the world to the fact that the media, especially Campbell Brown, who should know better, are on a par with a bunch of woman-hating cold-war relics. At last, at this eleventh hour, they're acting more like journalists and less like pathetic, starstruck celebrity worshippers.

Vote for Hillary and don't forget to inhale.


A footnote, if I may. Yesterday, knowing she'd just had hand surgery and probably wasn't going to be posting to her blog for a while, I told my Pal Sal that she was welcome to post the above rant. She did. Here's the link.